No Surprises... 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry... and how to ask them
by Andrea Reynolds
32 page
e-booklet,
5.5" x 8.5" size
$15.95 allows
printing 2
copies.
ISBN 0-9691057-3-8
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Activity Ideas for Valentine's Day
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printed booklets sent by mail, 2 for
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With the print version
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mini-book, Cheap Thrills: 65 Low-Cost, No-Cost Romantic
Activity Ideas for Valentine's Day
($3.95
value) which is excerpted
from my 90 page book, Let's Do Something... besides Dinner and a
Movie.
Do
nothing; you'll receive it automatically.
This booklet was featured on the TV series,
"What I
Like About You" The
episode was "The Garden State" with Jennie Garth, Dan
Cortese and Amanda Bynes.
Found
on this page:
1. The Story Behind the Booklet
2. 6 Ways This Booklet is Different
3. 12 Ways You'll Benefit
4. 17 Sample Questions
5. Give as Gifts
6. Reader Mail
7. About the Author
8. Book Review
9. News Release
10. Interview Questions
11. Order Info
12. Quantity sales
13. Related Publications
Are you engaged
to be married... or thinking about it?
As you near the date you plan to propose or as you plan
your wedding you need to think also about your life as a
married couple.
Do your values and expectations match? Will your marriage
last or will yours be another divorce statistic?
"My booklet will help you be sure your marriage is based on
mutual expectations"
The Story Behind the Booklet
This is the booklet I wish I'd had in my
hand when I was teaching junior and senior high school
classes on dating, when I was conducting seminars for
single adults and before I married the man I did. This
information didn't exist anywhere so I had to write it. Now
it's supplemental reading in family studies programs. If
you are planning to marry or know someone who is... read
on. (Parents: I can even send copies to couples
anonymously!)
When you believe you have found the ideal life partner,
here are 365 questions to ensure you both have similar
expectations of your life together. Don't let your future
marriage end in divorce because of "irreconcilable
differences."
Order my 365 questions booklet and learn how to ask those
questions to get true answers you can compare.
6
Ways this booklet is different from any other book of
marriage questions...
1. This is the first marriage question book
to appear in print, in 1993, inspired by a Phil Donahue
show.
2. These questions are open-ended,
non-judgmental questions which can't be answered with just a YES
or NO. There are no wrong answers, just answers you hope
you'll both agree on.
3. There are 365
questions, not just
100. That means you can ask two questions every day for 6
months which is the optimum engagement period.
4. For the same price as one of the
competing books, you can receive TWO copies of
No
Surprises: 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry ... and how to ask them
so you can answer the
questions separately and compare them later.
5.You can also
order the 3 page article I wrote which was published in
Wedding Bells Magazine, 20 Questions You
Need to Ask Each Other about Lovemaking and Romance.
$5.00
6. Unlike the other authors, Andrea Reynolds
earned a degree in Family
Studies and has been a
relationship expert for many years appearing on numerous
national television programs.
12
Ways you'll benefit from No Surprises
• Learn more about the person
you want to marry
• Base your decision to marry on knowledge and wisdom
• Reduce your chances of being a divorce statistic
• Uncover unrealistic expectations before it's too late
• Find out if you're marrying the right person
• Find out if you're marrying too soon
• Find out if you're mature enough for marriage
• Plan for the marriage... not just the wedding
• Establish good communication with your intended partner
• Find out what the potential conflicts are... before you
say "I do."
• Avoid the heartache of being stood up at the altar
• Avoid the loss and suffering of a painful divorce
17
Sample Questions from the booklet for Newspaper or Magazine
Editors:
You may publish any or all of the
following 17 questions, but only if you provide my web site
address AndreaReynolds.com
as the only place where my
booklet can be purchased. (Not available in stores.)
Thanks.
1. Love &
Romance What are the
specific ways you prefer to show your love?
2. Wedding &
Marriage What is your
perception of the role of "Husband"? "Wife"?
3. Sex &
Lovemaking At what
times will we not have sexual relations?
4. Children
What about your own childhood
do you want to be different for our children?
5. Family &
Friends If my aging
parents become unable to care for themselves where will
they live?
6. Money &
Finances If we have to
tighten our budget, what expenditures are you willing to
give up?
7. Career &
Work If I'm offered a
terrific job which requires relocation to a city you
dislike, what are your feelings about moving there with me?
8. Health &
Illness If I were in
an accident and became paralyzed, how would that change
your feelings for me or your behavior?
9. Aging &
Appearance What effect
of aging would make me less attractive to you?
10. Values &
Religion When do you
believe it's OK to cheat on your income tax, pad an expense
account, or do some creative wiring to get free cable TV or
telephone calls?
11. Potential
Conflicts If we have a
big marital problem who will we look to for guidance and
advice?
12. Fidelity &
Infidelity Under what
circumstances would it be OK with you if I had sex with
other partners during our marriage?
13. Divorce
What would cause you to leave
our marriage . . . permanently or temporarily?
14. Past History
Who is the past love that you
still pine for?
15. Personal
Preferences How long
does it usually take you to make a decision?
16. Home Life
What will the dinner scene be
like in our home?
17. Leisure &
Activities How many
times a week will you go out alone or with buddies?
Order
Now and receive 348 more questions
Give
these booklets as gifts
1. Give booklets to
your
pastor, priest, rabbi, minister to use in his/her work.
2. Donate booklets
to your
church, temple, school, and university
libraries.
3. Give 2 booklets
to each of
your
single adult family members.
4. Tuck
2 booklets (one for each partner)
into
bridal shower gifts.
5. Sell booklets as a fund
raiser for your
church or singles group.
(quantity discounts
available.)
6.
Marriage counselors: give 2 booklets to each
couple as a starting point for
communication. Booklets can be customized with your firm's
name and address.
7.
Divorce lawyers: give booklets to
your clients who one day will be dating again.
8.
Wedding services providers: give complimentary
booklets to your customers. Booklets can be
customized with your name and
address.
9.
Pastors, priests, rabbis: provide booklets
to the engaged couples you counsel before the ceremony.
10.
Psychiatrists, psychologists: provide booklets
to the individuals you counsel. Booklets can be
customized with your name and
address.
Reader Mail
"Your interview/discussion on the Life Network was not only
interesting but made a lot of sense. My
congratulations to the Life Network for an interesting,
informative, and necessary program." Sidney, British
Columbia
"I saw your article in Wedding Bells magazine at my
friend's house. I really enjoyed this article; if only I
had thought of those questions before I married my
ex-husband!! I guarantee I would have saved myself a
lot of agony. I am presently in a relationship and I plan
on using these questions if we ever think about getting
married." Etobicoke,
Ontario
"Congratulations on your televised discussion on how
couples get married without dealing with the things that
form the foundation of their relationship. People
often lose focus in the chaos of wedding
preparation." Etobicoke,
Ontario
"Recently you aired a programme [with] Andrea Reynolds.
Needless to say I enjoyed it very much and learned much
from it. Had I seen it years ago I would never have become
involved in an abusive marriage, which resulted in my
present, very complicated situation." Agincourt,
Ontario
"I am not engaged or even in a relationship at this time;
however, a year ago I ended a three-year relationship that
could have been a matrimonial disaster. I want to be
prepared the next time I get involved with someone. I
think by discussing the simple things like banking and
sleeping arrangements, etc., it will definitely help when
the time comes to make that everlasting commitment."
Calgary,
Alberta
"I saw you interviewed on T.V. I have never heard
those questions put before us so plainly and
necessarily, This book should be a must in schools,
too." Victoria, British
Columbia
About
the Author
Andrea
Reynolds is a
writer/broadcaster who has appeared as a guest expert on
The Life Network: All You Can Be, Real Life, Just Ask; Dini
Petty Show, and Breakfast Television. She has hosted
her own radio call-in show on relationships, introducing
topics on date rape, safe sex, emotional abuse, rejection,
and affairs.
Besides studying
Marriage and Family Relations, psychology, communications,
and education in 3 countries, Andrea has also trained as a
crisis hot-line volunteer and has successfully handled
suicide interventions.
In 1975, she began teaching classes on dating and
relationships in junior and senior high schools, and later
taught advanced programs for adults. She lectures through
corporations, hospitals, conferences, universities and high
schools; often speaking to men and women who have come out
of empty, addictive, or abusive relationships and who have
lacked healthy self-esteem. Psychologists, psychiatrists,
and psychotherapists recommend her seminars and handbooks
to their patients and clients.
A practical philosopher, she believes relationships require
an entrepreneurial attitude: "If you want to find happiness
with a loving partner, invest as much energy and creativity
in each important relationship . . . including the one you
have with yourself . . . as you do in your business or
career."
Book Review
reprinted with permission
LEARNING
LOVE AND LIFE Weekly Newsletter
No. 30, October 28,
1999
Copyright (c) 1999 by Benjamin
Devey
No Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry
The title pretty much sums up "No
Surprises!" It is a straightforward list of--you guessed
it--critical questions to ask before two people marry. This
32-page booklet covers 20 topics, including love &
romance, sex & lovemaking, family & friends, money
& finance, work & business, health & illness,
aging & appearance, values & religion, fidelity,
divorce and several others. Reynolds also gives helpful
tips on discussing issues and withholding judgment to get
to the truth.
Reynolds is a broadcaster and author who has appeared on
television and has hosted her own call-in radio show on
relationships. She gives seminars and lectures through
institutions, businesses and conferences, focusing on
relationship issues.
Reynolds' questions are open-ended, requiring thought
rather than simple reply answers. They are intended to
prompt discussion about attitudes and values, as well as
uncover deceptions and indiscreet value systems.
Here are a few questions
from "No
Surprises!":
Wedding & Marriage -- What is your perception of the role of
"husband"? "Wife"?
Children -- What about
your own childhood do you want to be different for our
children?
Potential Conflicts --
If we have a big marital problem, who will we look to for
guidance and advice?
Personal Preferences -- How long does it usually take you to
make a decision?
Reynolds' 365 questions are not fluffy, nor hurriedly
dashed off on the way to the printer. They are thought
provoking, often giving the reader a different perspective
on an issue he had presumed settled in his own mind. Even
when the reader squirms uncomfortably, the questions
challenge lazy assumptions of ethical
fortitude.
Reynolds' introduction gave me insights on the value of "No
Surprises!" It's not just for dating and divorced singles,
but it can help happily married couples discuss issues that
can strengthen their understanding of each other. Its real
value will depend on the reader's courage to confront real
issues over romantic assumptions.
"No
Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry" can be ordered from Andrea Reynolds.
She is offering "Learning Love and Life" readers a special
discount for orders placed before Nov. 30, 1999. She can be
contacted by e-mail: info@AndreaReynolds.com
News release
Interviews: Andrea Reynolds,
info@AndreaReynolds.com
CAR PHONE:
(571)
217-6928
You've popped the question or said yes... are you sure
you're marrying the right person?
When we're in love we assume that our
partner has the same expectations about sharing life
together that we do. Couples who don't take the time to
discover if their partner's choices and expectations of
marriage really match may be in for a rude awakening later
on. Just ask someone who is divorced.
"You can get revealing answers by asking the right
questions, in the right way," counsels Andrea Reynolds,
former family studies teacher, broadcaster, and author
of
No Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry... and how to ask
them, "but many new
couples seem to be concerned more with wedding plans than
marriage expectations. The 365 questions are designed to
initiate deeper communication and emotional intimacy ...
without putting either one on the defensive." Reynolds
compiled the open-ended questions -- you can't answer just
yes or no -- she wished she had asked before she married.
She tackles 19 powerful and difficult subjects -- money,
values and religion, lovemaking, children, aging, death,
infidelity, and even divorce. Over a 6 month engagement
couples can ask 2 questions a day in their conversations.
"But," she cautions, "you must listen to the answers...
both your partner's and your own."
No Surprises! is a
thoughtful engagement or bridal shower gift, a resource for
pre-marriage and marriage counseling, a teaching tool in
marriage relations programs such as Kent State University's
School of Human and Family Studies, a library donation, and
a fund raising item. No Surprises has been featured on the
sitcom, "What I Like About You."
The 32 page, 5.5" x 8.5" booklet is available from
Andrea
Reynolds, PO Box 1106, Lewiston, New York 14092
USA,
2 for
$15.95 or ask about
quantity orders or license to reprint for use in classes,
churches, or for fund raising campaigns. Paypal and credit
cards are accepted.
- - - E N D - -
-
- - - - - -
Andrea Reynolds is available
for interviews to discuss the rationale behind any
questions. Suggested
Interview Questions below.
A good talk show opener is:
Would you want to be asked 365 questions by the person
you think you want to marry?
Suggested
Interview Questions
1. Why 365 Questions?
2. How was Phil Donahue the catalyst for these questions?
3. Did you look at the experiences of people you knew when
writing the questions?
4. Aren't you being too analytical? Isn't the feeling of
love enough to guide and sustain couples?
5. Aren't you encouraging couples to cancel weddings and
stay single?
6. Did or do you use these questions in your own life?
7. Why not create a checklist so people can just check YES
or NO?
8. How long of an engagement period do you think is
appropriate?
9. Who is the typical buyer of this question booklet?
Parents?
10. Which are the most critical questions?
11. Why are some chapters long and some so short?
12. What if people are stumped by a question and can't
figure out how to answer it? Where can they get an
explanation or help?
13. Why do you sell two booklets together?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
US
$15.95 for two
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Andrea Reynolds, PO Box 1106, Lewiston, NY 14092 USA
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Quantity Sales
2 - 10 E-booklets: $8.00 each.
11 - 100 E-booklets: $7.00 each plus shipping
101 - 500 E-booklets: $5.00 each plus shipping
501 to 100,000 E-booklets: Ask for estimate.
Related publications
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Please don't marry one of these: OutSmarting Sweetheart Swindlers: How to Protect Your Heart and Finances from Romantic Con Artists
Don't forget to date your spouse: Let's Do Something ...besides Dinner and a Movie Dating Activity Handbook
Make every day Valentine's Day Cheap Thrills: 65 No Cost, Low Cost Romantic Ideas for Valentine's Day
