No Surprises... 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry... and how to ask them
by Andrea Reynolds
32 page e-booklet,
5.5" x 8.5" size $15.95
allows
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copies.
ISBN
0-9691057-3-8
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This booklet was featured
on the TV series, "What I
Like About You" The episode was "The
Garden State" with Jennie Garth, Dan Cortese and Amanda
Bynes.
On this
page:
1. The Story Behind the
Booklet
2. 6 Ways This Booklet is Different
3. 12 Ways You'll Benefit
4. 17 Sample Questions
5. Give as Gifts
6. Reader Mail
7. About the Author
8. Book Review
9. News Release
10. Interview Questions
11. Order Info
12. Quantity sales
13. Related Publications
Are you engaged to be
married... or thinking about it?
As you near the date you plan to propose or as you plan
your wedding you need to think also about your life as a
married couple.
Do your values and expectations match? Will your marriage
last or will yours be another divorce statistic?
"My booklet will help you be sure your marriage is based on
mutual expectations"
The Story
Behind the Booklet
This is the booklet I wish
I'd had in my hand when I was teaching junior and senior
high school classes on dating, when I was conducting
seminars for single adults and before I married the man I
did. This information didn't exist anywhere so I had to
write it. Now it's supplemental reading in family studies
programs. If you are planning to marry or know someone who
is... read on. (Parents: I can even send copies to couples
anonymously!)
When you believe you have found the ideal life partner,
here are 365 questions to ensure you both have similar
expectations of your life together. Don't let your future
marriage end in divorce because of "irreconcilable
differences."
Order my 365 questions booklet and learn how to ask those
questions to get true answers you can compare.
6
Ways this booklet is different from any other book of
marriage questions...
1.
This is the
first marriage question book to appear in print, in 1993,
inspired by a Phil Donahue show.
2.
These
questions are open-ended,
non-judgmental questions which can't be answered
with just a YES or NO. There are no wrong answers, just
answers you hope you'll both agree on.
3.
There
are 365
questions, not just 100. That means
you can ask two questions every day for 6 months which is
the optimum engagement period.
4.
For the same
price as one of the competing books, you can receive TWO
copies of No
Surprises: 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry ... and how to ask them
so you can
answer the questions separately and compare them later.
5.You can
also order the
3 page article I wrote which was published in
Wedding Bells Magazine, 20
Questions You Need to Ask Each Other about Lovemaking
and Romance. $5.00
6.
Unlike the
other authors, Andrea Reynolds earned a degree in
Family Studies and has been a
relationship expert for many years appearing on numerous
national television programs.
12 Ways
you'll benefit from No Surprises
• Learn more about the
person you want to marry
• Base your decision to marry on knowledge and wisdom
• Reduce your chances of being a divorce statistic
• Uncover unrealistic expectations before it's too late
• Find out if you're marrying the right person
• Find out if you're marrying too soon
• Find out if you're mature enough for marriage
• Plan for the marriage... not just the wedding
• Establish good communication with your intended partner
• Find out what the potential conflicts are... before you
say "I do."
• Avoid the heartache of being stood up at the altar
• Avoid the loss and suffering of a painful
divorce
17 Sample
Questions from the booklet for Newspaper or Magazine
Editors:
You may publish any or all
of the following 17 questions, but only if you provide my
web site address AndreaReynolds.com
as the only
place where my booklet can be purchased. (Not available in
stores.) Thanks.
1. Love
& Romance What are the specific ways
you prefer to show your love?
2. Wedding
& Marriage What is your perception of
the role of "Husband"? "Wife"?
3. Sex &
Lovemaking At what times will
we not
have sexual
relations?
4. Children
What about
your own childhood do you want to be different for our
children?
5. Family
& Friends If my aging parents become
unable to care for themselves where will they live?
6. Money
& Finances If we have to tighten our
budget, what expenditures are you willing to give up?
7. Career
& Work If I'm offered a terrific
job which requires relocation to a city you dislike, what
are your feelings about moving there with me?
8. Health
& Illness If I were in an accident
and became paralyzed, how would that change your feelings
for me or your behavior?
9. Aging
& Appearance What effect of aging would
make me less attractive to you?
10. Values
& Religion When do you believe it's
OK to cheat on your income tax, pad an expense account, or
do some creative wiring to get free cable TV or telephone
calls?
11. Potential
Conflicts If we have a big marital
problem who will we look to for guidance and advice?
12. Fidelity
& Infidelity Under what circumstances
would it be OK with you if I had sex with other partners
during our marriage?
13. Divorce
What would
cause you to leave our marriage . . . permanently or
temporarily?
14. Past
History Who is the past love that
you still pine for?
15. Personal
Preferences How long does it usually
take you to make a decision?
16. Home
Life What will the dinner scene
be like in our home?
17. Leisure
& Activities How many times a week will
you go out alone or with buddies?
Order Now
and receive 348 more questions
Give
these booklets as gifts
1. Give booklets to
your pastor,
priest, rabbi, minister to use in his/her work.
2. Donate booklets
to your
church, temple, school, and university libraries.
3. Give 2 booklets
to each of
your single
adult family members.
4. Tuck
2 booklets (one for each partner)
into bridal
shower gifts.
5. Sell booklets as a fund
raiser for your
church or
singles group.
(quantity discounts
available.)
6. Marriage
counselors: give 2 booklets to each
couple as a starting point for
communication. Booklets can be customized with your firm's
name and address.
7. Divorce
lawyers: give booklets to
your clients who one day will be dating again.
8. Wedding
services providers: give complimentary
booklets to your customers. Booklets can be
customized with your name and
address.
9. Pastors,
priests, rabbis: provide booklets
to the engaged couples you counsel before the ceremony.
10. Psychiatrists,
psychologists: provide booklets
to the individuals you counsel. Booklets can be
customized with your name and
address.
Reader
Mail
"Your interview/discussion
on the Life Network was not only interesting but made a lot
of sense. My congratulations to the Life Network for
an interesting, informative, and necessary program."
Sidney,
British Columbia
"I saw your article in Wedding Bells magazine at my
friend's house. I really enjoyed this article; if only I
had thought of those questions before I married my
ex-husband!! I guarantee I would have saved myself a
lot of agony. I am presently in a relationship and I plan
on using these questions if we ever think about getting
married." Etobicoke,
Ontario
"Congratulations on your televised discussion on how
couples get married without dealing with the things that
form the foundation of their relationship. People
often lose focus in the chaos of wedding
preparation." Etobicoke,
Ontario
"Recently you aired a programme [with] Andrea Reynolds.
Needless to say I enjoyed it very much and learned much
from it. Had I seen it years ago I would never have become
involved in an abusive marriage, which resulted in my
present, very complicated situation." Agincourt,
Ontario
"I am not engaged or even in a relationship at this time;
however, a year ago I ended a three-year relationship that
could have been a matrimonial disaster. I want to be
prepared the next time I get involved with someone. I
think by discussing the simple things like banking and
sleeping arrangements, etc., it will definitely help when
the time comes to make that everlasting commitment."
Calgary,
Alberta
"I saw you interviewed on T.V. I have never heard
those questions put before us so plainly and
necessarily, This book should be a must in schools,
too." Victoria,
British Columbia
About
the Author
Andrea
Reynolds is a writer/broadcaster
who has appeared as a guest expert on The Life Network: All
You Can Be, Real Life, Just Ask; Dini Petty Show, and
Breakfast Television. She has hosted her own radio
call-in show on relationships, introducing topics on date
rape, safe sex, emotional abuse, rejection, and affairs.
Besides studying Marriage
and Family Relations, psychology, communications, and
education in 3 countries, Andrea has also trained as a
crisis hot-line volunteer and has successfully handled
suicide interventions.
In 1975, she began teaching classes on dating and
relationships in junior and senior high schools, and later
taught advanced programs for adults. She lectures through
corporations, hospitals, conferences, universities and high
schools; often speaking to men and women who have come out
of empty, addictive, or abusive relationships and who have
lacked healthy self-esteem. Psychologists, psychiatrists,
and psychotherapists recommend her seminars and handbooks
to their patients and clients.
A practical philosopher, she believes relationships require
an entrepreneurial attitude: "If you want to find happiness
with a loving partner, invest as much energy and creativity
in each important relationship . . . including the one you
have with yourself . . . as you do in your business or
career."
Book
Review reprinted
with permission
LEARNING
LOVE AND LIFE Weekly Newsletter
No. 30, October 28,
1999
Copyright (c) 1999 by
Benjamin Devey
No
Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry
The title pretty much sums
up "No Surprises!" It is a straightforward list of--you
guessed it--critical questions to ask before two people
marry. This 32-page booklet covers 20 topics, including
love & romance, sex & lovemaking, family &
friends, money & finance, work & business, health
& illness, aging & appearance, values &
religion, fidelity, divorce and several others. Reynolds
also gives helpful tips on discussing issues and
withholding judgment to get to the
truth.
Reynolds is a broadcaster and author who has appeared on
television and has hosted her own call-in radio show on
relationships. She gives seminars and lectures through
institutions, businesses and conferences, focusing on
relationship issues.
Reynolds' questions are open-ended, requiring thought
rather than simple reply answers. They are intended to
prompt discussion about attitudes and values, as well as
uncover deceptions and indiscreet value systems.
Here are a few questions
from "No
Surprises!":
Wedding & Marriage -- What is your perception
of the role of "husband"? "Wife"?
Children -- What about your own
childhood do you want to be different for our
children?
Potential Conflicts -- If we have a big
marital problem, who will we look to for guidance and
advice?
Personal Preferences -- How long does it
usually take you to make a decision?
Reynolds' 365 questions are not fluffy, nor hurriedly
dashed off on the way to the printer. They are thought
provoking, often giving the reader a different perspective
on an issue he had presumed settled in his own mind. Even
when the reader squirms uncomfortably, the questions
challenge lazy assumptions of ethical
fortitude.
Reynolds' introduction gave me insights on the value of "No
Surprises!" It's not just for dating and divorced singles,
but it can help happily married couples discuss issues that
can strengthen their understanding of each other. Its real
value will depend on the reader's courage to confront real
issues over romantic assumptions.
"No
Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry" can be ordered from
Andrea Reynolds. She is offering "Learning Love and Life"
readers a special discount for orders placed before Nov.
30, 1999. She can be contacted by e-mail:
handyande1@gmail.com
News
release
Interviews: Andrea
Reynolds, handyande1@gmail.com
(814)
431-9278
You've
popped the question or said yes... are you sure you're
marrying the right person?
When we're in love we
assume that our partner has the same expectations about
sharing life together that we do. Couples who don't take
the time to discover if their partner's choices and
expectations of marriage really match may be in for a rude
awakening later on. Just ask someone who is divorced.
"You can get revealing answers by asking the right
questions, in the right way," counsels Andrea Reynolds,
former family studies teacher, broadcaster, and author
of No
Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each
Other Before You Marry... and how to ask
them,
"but many new
couples seem to be concerned more with wedding plans than
marriage expectations. The 365 questions are designed to
initiate deeper communication and emotional intimacy ...
without putting either one on the defensive." Reynolds
compiled the open-ended questions -- you can't answer just
yes or no -- she wished she had asked before she married.
She tackles 19 powerful and difficult subjects -- money,
values and religion, lovemaking, children, aging, death,
infidelity, and even divorce. Over a 6 month engagement
couples can ask 2 questions a day in their conversations.
"But," she cautions, "you must listen to the answers...
both your partner's and your own."
No Surprises! is a thoughtful engagement
or bridal shower gift, a resource for pre-marriage and
marriage counseling, a teaching tool in marriage relations
programs such as Kent State University's School of Human
and Family Studies, a library donation, and a fund raising
item. No Surprises has been featured on the sitcom, "What I
Like About You."
The 32 page, 5.5" x 8.5" booklet is available from
Andrea
Reynolds, 2 for $15.95 or ask about quantity
orders or license to reprint for use in classes, churches,
or for fund raising campaigns. Paypal and credit cards are
accepted.
- - - E N
D - - -
- - - - - - Andrea
Reynolds is available for interviews to discuss the
rationale behind any questions. Suggested
Interview Questions below.
A good talk show opener is: Would
you want to be asked 365 questions by the person you think
you want to marry?
Suggested
Interview Questions
1.
Why 365 Questions?
2. How was Phil Donahue the catalyst for these questions?
3. Did you look at the experiences of people you knew when
writing the questions?
4. Aren't you being too analytical? Isn't the feeling of
love enough to guide and sustain couples?
5. Aren't you encouraging couples to cancel weddings and
stay single?
6. Did or do you use these questions in your own life?
7. Why not create a checklist so people can just check YES
or NO?
8. How long of an engagement period do you think is
appropriate?
9. Who is the typical buyer of this question booklet?
Parents?
10. Which are the most critical questions?
11. Why are some chapters long and some so short?
12. What if people are stumped by a question and can't
figure out how to answer it? Where can they get an
explanation or help?
13. Why do you sell two booklets together?
~
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11 - 100 E-booklets: $7.00 each plus shipping
101 - 500 E-booklets: $5.00 each plus shipping
501 to 100,000 E-booklets: Ask for estimate.
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